Ringkasan dari rubrik psikologinya kompas minggu ini by : Sawitri
Supardi Sadarjoen
Cemburu buta
Orang yang dilanda cemburu buta adalah orang yang perasaan cemburunya
berlebihan bahkan ekstrem. Rasa takut kehilangan sedemikian besarnya
sehingga ketakutan ini justru memicu meluapnya dorongan agresi mereka.
Luapan dorongan agresi itu diungkapkan secara verbal m aupun nor
verbal. Secara verbal misalnya dalam bentuk makian, cercaan dan
lecehan. Secara Non Verbal diungkapkan dalam bentuk pukulan dan
tamparan yang menyebabkan memar.
Cara pengungkapan rasa cemburu tersebut terkesan meragukan dasar cinta
kasih yang seyogyanya melandasi sikap cemburunya.
Pencemburu buta pada dasarnya memiliki karakteristik kepribadian
spesifik yang membuka peluang berkembangnya tingkat kecemburuan.
Karakteristik itu antara lain kurang percaya diri, tidak yakin akan
cinta kasih dan kesetiaan pasangan serta memiliki kecenderungan
posesif sehingga apapun yang dirasakan menjadi miliknya akan
dipertahankan dengan segala cara.
Cemburu Romantis
Dalam cemburu romantis unsure kasih lebih dominan dari pada unsure
agresif yang terkait dengan sikap posesif. Kalaupun terdapat sedikit
kecurigaan terhadap pasangan, kadar ungkapan agresi sangat minim,
sekedar mengingatkan pasangan akan perkawinan. Karakter ungkapannyapun
mengandung unsure kasih yang tulus dari pasangan yang memiliki
kemantapan dan stabilitas emosi optimal. Biasanya kecemburuan
romanntis justru meningkatkan kadar kemesraan pasangan dengan dasar
kemantapan kepribadian kedua pasangan, keyakinan akan kasih
antarkeduanya pasanganpun mantap pula.
Dari tulisan diatas, mana yang pernah teman2 rasakan dan lakukan ?
cemburu buta dong, buseno... hehehehehehehe
ReplyDeleteeh cemburu romantis deh..
ReplyDeleteeh cemburu romantis tapi gak buta deh buseno..
Tiap pagi saya sering cemburu.... :(
ReplyDeletecemburu buru masuk kantor :))
ha..ha..ha..ini tulisan tambahan buat dikau Cho :))..
ReplyDeleteWell,
Romantic Jealousy
How to recognize where jealousy comes from and how to copewith it.
By: A.M. Pines, C.F. Bowes
The Shadow of Love
"I found myself sitting curled up in the bushes, following every movement
seen through the curtains in her lit-up window. I knew her boyfriend was
there, and the knowledge caused me excruciating pain. It was a cold winter
night, and once in a while it would drizzle. I said to myself: "I know I am
a sane, well-adjusted, responsible adult. What in the world is happening to
me? Have I totally lost my mind?" And yet, I continued sitting in those
bushes for hours. I didn't leave until the light in the window was gone. A
force larger than myself held me hypnotized to the light and to her. I have
never in my life felt so close to madness."
"Although I knew that our relationship was over, I still had very strong
feeling towards him. Then, one day, I saw him at the corner store we used to
shop at when we lived together. He was with this bleached-blond chick--the
kind who spends hours choosing her outfit, perfectly applies her heavy
makeup, sprays every hair on her head in just the right place. I knew that I
looked like a bag lady; my nose was red from a cold, my hair was unwashed
and greasy. I think I simply went mad. I went up to him, kicked him in the
groin, snapped the hat he was holding in his hand and ran outside. I went to
his car--which for some reason he left unlocked--and started crying
uncontrollably. I've never cried like that in my life. I felt I was going
out of my mind."
Both people in these paragraphs are describing powerful experiences that
have several things in common. They are extreme and unusual, involve loss of
control, and result in a sense of going mad--three prominent features of
romantic jealousy.
Most people describe jealousy as an extremely painful, "crazy" feeling. A
woman who participated in one of my workshops said that jealousy was the
most painful thing she had ever experienced: "I tried everything in an
attempt to gain some control over it, but nothing works. I don't think I can
live with this pain much longer." Even when people who experience extreme
jealousy have enough self control not to resort to actual acts of violence,
they often fantasize about it. A woman whose estranged husband started
dating her best friend said: "I have daydreams in which I go into her
apartment with a sledgehammer and start destroying things-- furniture,
records, windows. I can virtually hear the glass breaking. These fantasies
have a way of calming me down, even if I know I will never carry them out."
For most of us, even if jealousy produces tremendous pain and distress, it
remains an inner experience that does not cross the boundary into violent
action. But anyone who has experienced intense jealousy is well aware of its
power and potential destructiveness.
Jealousy is a reaction to a perceived threat--real or imagined--to a valued
relationship or to its quality. A nationwide survey of marriage counselors
indicates that jealousy is a problem in one third of all couples coming for
marital therapy. This helps explain our fascination with stories about the
wild things some people are driven to do. One middle-aged wife whose husband
left her for a younger woman kidnapped her rival at gunpoint, shaved her
head, stripped her naked, covered her with tar and feathers, and released
her at the city dump. The story was repeated over and over again--with great
delight--by women who identified with the revenge of the deposed wife. Is
jealousy a form of madness, then?
cemburu romantis lah mba..biar tambah disayang hubby hihihih
ReplyDeleteSiiip.. tambah romantis deh pasti
ReplyDeleteThanks tulisannya Mbah... makin mantap deh
ReplyDeletehahaha... bangun kesiangan itu mah
ReplyDeleteButa melek ya mas
ReplyDeleteYa jangan buta dong, masa udah romantis buta kan gak seru
ReplyDeleteButa wae tiasa cemburu nya teh...!!! :D
ReplyDeletedua2nya pernah aku lakukan
ReplyDeletecemburu buta baru sekali (semoga g lagi2 deehh)
lbh sering cemburu romantis tapinya ^_^
So don wori ya Cho, you are just fine :)), kaoan traktiran makan nih..ha..ha..ha..
ReplyDeleteEmang cemburu buta mah membutakan segalanya :D
ReplyDeletemuhun kang kumaha teu buta nya..
ReplyDeletejadi udah banyak pengalaman dong ya..
ReplyDeleteiya lah enakan cembur rumantis aja deh
yang penting tidak membuat orang lain buta we neng
ReplyDeletecemburu romantis dong..
ReplyDeletesetuju.. sippp.
ReplyDeletecemburu romantis aja dehhh...
ReplyDeletejangan sampe cemburu buta yaa... bisa2 ancur daah
tul mbak.. tahan2 diri deh
ReplyDeleteKata orang tidak bijak:"dalam keluarga, cemburu itu harus ada. Tanpa itu, bilih kajongjonan teuing..."
ReplyDeletetapi tong langkung sering timburu na kang, sareng kedah ningali rambu2 cemburu na
ReplyDeletesaya kurang tahu Bu, saya ini tipe yang mana, semoga saya cemburu yang romantis..
ReplyDeletesy pun berharap demikian..cemburu romantis lebih menguasai diri, terima kasih mas Adit sudah mampir :-)
ReplyDelete